Truth and consequences

Warning: this post was not outlined or structured in advance. It contains messy thoughts and feelings, and some startling (at least to me) news. It is not an outright sympathy ploy. I am feeling better than I have in months! But I do feel a need to share, and apparently my blather hasn't completely turned you all off (yet, that is).

Well, last week, I started having double vision, and if I ever heard AC/DC again in this life, it was too soon. By Sunday, I was getting terrified. I consulted my handy home copy of Merck Manual. Its conclusions were that I needed to go to an emergency room immediately. I did not like that advice one bit. [OMG. All this and I am sticking in a serial record.] So I emailed my primary care physician and asked her if I should go to urgent care. That was Sunday afternoon. So then I tried to distract myself from the idea of brain cancer, mad cow, neuro-syphillus, myasthenia gravis, and all the other ideas Merck gave me. I know medical reference goes that way, really. But I couldn't stop. Plus I could not read at all by evening.

Long story short: admitted to hospital, many many tests, Around 10:00 p.m. Monday, the ER neurologist came to tell me I have MS. I spiralled all over Kubler-Ross and really chewed out anyone in earshot. Terrorized the residents--they scattered! They had never seen an angry librarian I guess.

Some time Tuesday, when the drugs kicked in and my vision began returning (no, I will not be spending the rest of my life in a nursing home listening to audio books!), I started thinking. I thought about requesting the MacBook so I could blog the experience. I do scare myself. Of course, I have concerns beyond the professional, but by Wednesday I was asking if I could still go to ALA Annual next Friday.

I am going to New Orleans, albeit with a cane. Plus Boyfriend will be there with me, and will help me to keep the pace sedate. I am wondering what it will be like not to jam in every possible session at ALA. Maybe better?

The picture up top was sent to me by Boyfriend's friend, J.M. J.M. recently flew his two-person plane from San Diego to New Orleans, where he lives. We will be seeing J.M. next weekend, and maybe going for an aerial tour--how's that for cool?

This is a shot from a camera phone from inside the plane near Truth or Consequences, New Mexico--literally a town named after a game show. I think the photo is awesome. J.M. stops every 300 or so miles to refuel his plane. That's based on how much fuel he can carry safely. So he stops in at little airfields, camps out over night, talks to other pilots and passengers. It is not about speed.

I have been driving a Toyota Prius hybrid car since last October. I really like the fuel efficiency of course; that's why I bought it. But I also enjoy it's quietness. It doesn't idle. It doesn't pollute much. It is small and nimble and turns on a dime.



I have been thinking/planning/plotting my big bad librarianness for years. I have always been pretty competitive. I actually bore civilians with my circ stats, talk about authority files in public, and thought I would eventually be running the show somewhere in some corner of libraryland. I wanted bigger, stronger, faster, larger. Now I am thinking to see what I can get out of librarianship on a small tank of fuel. I have been having a grand time at my little branch in San Diego. Things have been going swimmingly on the work front while my body was burning violins and haystacks and whatever to get my attention the last few months.

I am not thinking about this just on the basis of my personal situation. It is so easy in this business to want more. More budget, more materials, more staff, more space, more respect. Yadda yadda. I am not saying I want to give my customers less, of course. But maybe we can walk a little lighter, listen a bit more? I am not exactly sure, but it is something I am going to ponder.